Trini Jokes

THINGS MY TRINI MOTHER TAUGHT ME

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING. "Yuh go get ah good cut ass when we get home!"
My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES. "If yuh run across de road an' ah car lick yu dong, ah goin' kill yuh wid licks."
My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION. "If yuh doh go to school, yuh go pick up garbage on de street."

SIMPLE FRIEND VS. REAL FRIEND VS. TRINI FRIEND

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A TRINI FRIEND CAUSE DE DAMN TEARS IN DE FIRST PLACE

A simple friend doesn't know your parent's first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A TRINI FRIEND KNOW WHERE DEY LIVIN', WHAT DEY COOKIN' ON WHAT DAY AND WILL SHOW UP AT THEIR DOORSTEPS

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean
A TRINI FRIEND COME LATE, BRING A SET OF PEOPLE AND THEN TALK ABOUT YOU WHEN ALL DE FOOD AND BOOZE DONE

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A TRINI FRIEND SCREENIN' DE CALL AND DON'T ANSWER WHEN IS YOU

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A TRINI FRIEND WILL LISTEN TO YOUR PROBLEMS AND CRY WID YOU, EVEN OFFER TO HELP YOU, THEN TELL EVERYBODY AND ADD A LITTLE MORE JUICE TO THE STORY

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history,
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A TRINI FRIEND WILL BLACKMAIL YOU AND STILL TELL EVERYBODY

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
OH GOSH...A TRINI FRIEND OPEN YUH FRIDGE, CLEAN IT OUT, COMPLAIN YUH AIN'T HAVE ENOUGH, THEN TELL DE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD DEY MOUTH WAS DRY

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A TRINI FRIEND TELL EVERYBODY DEY DONE WITH YOU AND TELL THEM DOH TALK TO YOU AND SHOW UP IN YOUR HOUSE WITH BIG HUG AND TING

A simple friend expects you to be always there for them.
A real friend expects to be always there for you!
A TRINI FRIEND WILL SAY HE DOING SOMETHING REAL IMPORTANT AND WILL CALL BACK, NEXT THING YOU HEAR, HE REALLY WAS GOING TO THE ANCHORAGE FETE

"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."